Oh my goodness this is the toughest night of the year. I think so much about Jess and what I could have done and should have done for her- but then again I remember driving over Snoqualmie Pass in the deepest darkness and finding out that my mom and my sister Janis were there with Jess as Rachael was born-and Jess with her pretty smiling face showing me her baby girl… and then later being with her as Tony was born and being his watchdog as he went to the nursery-“Mom would you go with him?” Oh my goodness what an honor. My grandson with his grandmother on patrol. I held him, I watched him, I loved him. OMG as I go to the cemetery tomorrow and as I cry and place wonderful flowers, I would give anything, anything, to have my girl in my arms again. Oh dear God, bless us all. Amen and good night.