Every once in awhile Miss Joanie fails to call her hairdresser for the infamous “bang cut”, and resorts to doing it herself. Note to Self: NO! NO! NO! Last night, peering into the bathroom mirror, she decides that, oh hell yes, these bang need a good trim and after all these years for crying out loud, I can jolly well do them by myself! So she proceeds to dig through the bathroom “utensil” drawer, chock full of dental floss, nail clippers, old toothbrushes, pens etc. (you get the idea) for her little scissors. Needless to say, in the Davis household, these $50 scissors may have been put to a myriad of uses such as: dog whisker clipping, wrapping paper cutting, twine clipping on that pot roast, duct tape cutting…but Joanie, as determined as she is, proceeds to clip her bangs… unfortunately forgetting that she had used the little scissors a few nights ago to cut the wicks on some still flaming candles in the living room, therefore deadening their sharpness and cutting power (ya think?)- and as she clips away she is suddenly transformed into the fourth grade girl on the dreaded Day Before Picture Day when her mom, Doris, always cut all of the kid’s bangs… “Oh honey you look so good in that Pixie Cut!” “Jesus Christ” as my dear dad would say- “What in the hell did you do to that girl!” Well, dear readers, apparently my dear mom is alive and well because this morning, as I peered into the mirror what do you think I saw? My little fourth grade self, ready for Picture Day. Amen and good night.